Emery cloud has a silver lining

It's fair to say that the reaction to Unai Emery taking hold of the recently relinquished Arsenal reins from Arsene Wenger has been mixed. Is such a reaction justified?

Arsenal's recent years, maybe even going as far back as a decade ago, have mostly been considered to be something of a malaise as covered before even some seven years ago. A toxic mood took over large swathes of the club's fanbase with the "Wenger out" brigade growing ever larger and more vocal throughout that period, even spawning the infamous Arsenal Fan TV.

When Arsene Wenger announced he would be leaving Arsenal, Ivan Gazidis had promised a "bold and brave" appointment to replace the long-serving Frenchman. Mikel Arteta, the former Arsenal captain, now assistant to Pep Guardiola at Manchester City had been touted to be the one but it would seem a late change of heart has led Arsenal to Unai Emery.

Arteta certainly would have fit the "bold and brave" profile that Gazidis identified but with that comes risk. Arteta, while learning from one of the world's most respected coaches in Guardiola, has no managerial experience of his own. Another problem Arteta could come across is being "one of the boys". Many of Arsenal's current squad have been there for quite some time and will know Arteta from when he was a player there. How would Arteta fare when it comes to making the hard decisions? Going from being one of the boys, to being the boss is quite a step. Arteta will also doubtlessly have picked up a lot of knowledge from Wenger. Most would agree that change is what is needed at Arsenal, if one of Wenger's old captains was to take control then how much would really change?

Emery would represent change. A change in the style of play and in approach. He is a proven manager who performs best when his teams play on the counter attack. This may actually suit the Gunners better than their current possession based style. Their biggest recent signings have been pacey forwards, Pierre Emerick Aubameyang and Alexandre Lacazette. The midfield has good passers already - that much is a given. The defence is the clear weakness in the team. Adopting a counter attacking approach would allow the team to protect their weakness. It should also be noted that Mesut Ozil's best days of his career were in Jose Mourinho's counter attacking Real Madrid team.

Sky Sports' Spanish football expert, Terry Gibson explained:

"He's rigid in approach. I've very rarely seen him stray from the 4-2-3-1 system and his style is more about a defensive shape than pressing. He's quite conservative in approach. He's not like the coaches in Spain who want to attack and commit players forward. He's not going to do what Pep has done at Manchester City – it will be rigid and organised.

"It's something that Arsenal need – that intensity on a daily basis that probably wasn't there at the end of Arsene Wenger's reign. It will be interesting to see who can take it and who can't. He isn't a tough task master in terms of discipline but he's all about hard work. It depends whether the players are prepared to do that."

Even Patrick Vieira, Wenger's most successful captain, said in the ITV "Keane vs Vieira" documentary that Wenger's greatest strength was his trust in his players but it could also be his biggest weakness. The seemingly laissez faire approach has obviously not been working in recent years. Perhaps the harder approach to be the antithesis of Wenger could be the antidote to the malaise. Many of the current Arsenal squad have been drifting for some time now; this could be the impetus they need.

Emery's most recent post was in charge of Paris Saint Germain where he was in charge for two seasons after a successful period in charge. With the megabucks invested in the French capital's team by their Qatari owners, there are some lofty expectations. Since Carlo Ancelotti's reign in Paris, they have been largely dominant picking up trophy after trophy and usually making the league look easy.

That is as far as it went, though, and as far as Nasser Bin Ghanim Al-Khelaifi, the President of PSG, is concerned, that is failure. The inability to transmit such dominance onto the European scene is considered insufficient. Unai Emery is not the first manager to pay for this "failure" with his job. Laurent Blanc and even a coach held in such high esteem as Carlo Ancelotti have found themselves out of the door.

The narrative that Emery had done an insufficient job at PSG has been absorbed by many fans as well. Many fans scoff at the Spaniard's inability to win the Champions League. Even a tremendous achievement like winning the Europa League in three consecutive years is not taken seriously with comments like "it's only the Europa League".

The Champions League's other high profile nouveau riche club, Manchester City has also stuttered in that competition. Catching up with Europe's elite is clearly not easy - at least one of Barcelona, Real Madrid and/or Bayern Munich have contested the final in the last 10 seasons. It is almost a closed shop.

Champions League failure aside, Emery can look back with pride at the majority of his managerial career, working at different levels. As his first season of being a manager Lorca Deportiva, he got them promoted for the first time in their history. At Almeria, they were promoted to La Liga for the first time in their history and finished an impressive 8th in their first top flight season.

In 2008, Valencia were two points above the relegation zone, prompting the sacking of Dutchman, Ronald Koeman. The next season, Emery came in and guided the same team to third place, ensuring Champions League qualification during what was a difficult time financially for the club where they had to abandon construction of their stadium. For the next three seasons, their top stars, David Silva, David Villa and Juan Mata would all have to be sold to help the debt issues, all the while Valencia maintained their grip on third place.

His record is not spotless, with the Champions League failure at PSG, the flop in Spartak Moscow and not winning the league in his first season at PSG, however, there is plenty to provide hope to Arsenal fans with what Unai Emery can provide, if his time at Sevilla and Valencia are anything to go by. Arsenal have the potential as a club to go further than Sevilla or Valencia ever did and they are in much better shape to do so. Emery has made a success of clubs with low budgets - and if the rumours of a £50 million transfer budget this summer are true, then Emery and his director of football will be put to the test.

Nobody should have any delusions about Arsenal competing for the Champions League and even for the Premier League at this stage, that is some way off, the key for now is to reestablish themselves back in Europe's top competition.

Back to the Future with Lampard and Gerrard?

Since England made light work of defeating Moldova 5-0 on Friday evening, we have been subjected to statements like "Lampard and Gerrard prove the critics wrong" and The Guardian's Michael Cox claiming: "England's midfield shift proves more successful than Holland's. Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard work better together now because they have been forced to adapt their style".

The latter part of that is not wrong. Gerrard and Lampard have had to change their games in recent times. In the past when they have failed to perform to their best for England, the problem has always been that they are too similar. Both men wanted to be the one that breaks from midfield into attacking positions, with neither having the tactical discipline to hold their position while the other attacked.

Both men reached their peak as the attacking midfielder in their respective teams. Both Chelsea and Liverpool would play 4-3-3 systems to suit them. Gerrard allowed to make his powerful runs through midfield and Lampard his late dashes into the box. For England, this has never been the case. The two have been shunted into a 4-4-2 that has failed to get the best out of either of them. The 4-4-2 systems have been altered in many ways to try to accomodate both men.

Paul Scholes was a casualty of the preference for a Gerrard -  Lampard partnership as he rightfully complained of being played out position on the left side of midfield. Later, after the emergence of Owen Hargreaves, England began to use a holding midfielder, in theory to provide freedom for the aforementioned duo to attack. England's rigidity in persisting with a 4-4-2 formation meant that often Gerrard would play on the left of midfield with Lampard permitted to play something close to his Chelsea role.

The reliance on the 4-4-2 was likely a tactic aimed at recreating the shape of Manchester United's team because it is proven that Wayne Rooney performs better with a partner. We even witnessed the re-emergence of Emile Heskey for a brief stint in the England team under Fabio Capello.

Nowadays, Lampard and Gerrard are not the players that they used to be, both in the sense of style and quality. Lampard struggled last season to modify his game to Andre Villas-Boas' high intensity game and under Roberto Di Matteo, he does not have the same goal threat that he had earlier but he does now use his considerable passing skills in a deeper role in the team.

Gerrard, however, is perhaps going to find his adaptation a more difficult task. Gerrard, in his pomp, was a dynamic, direct footballer whose principle qualities were his long passing, shooting and runs through midfield. The team around him for both England and Liverpool has changed, now. Gradually, it looks as though Roy Hodgson will want to implement a more possession based game, much like Brendan Rodgers is doing at Liverpool.

Gerrard embodies what is so popular about Premier League football, but Barcelona and Spain are influencing football at the moment with their need to control games. They have inspired Brendan Rodgers and thus far this season, Gerrard has failed to impress, but for England he did show greater maturity to dictate play from a deeper position.

So the question has to be asked, why are England resorting to using Lampard and Gerrard again? Against Moldova, there was no risk. England were never going to lose or even draw this game. The two were able to play the more reserved game that they are adapting to with Tom Cleverley putting in a useful performance behind Jermaine Defoe.

Against stronger opposition it remains to be seen how Gerrard and Lampard would do together but it is unlikely that they will continue behind Cleverley because it would leave the team without a natural defensive midfielder. Of course, there are experienced options with Michael Carrick, Gareth Barry and Scott Parker but as Roy Hodgson plans for World Cup 2014 and Euro 2016, it is imperative that the long term replacements for these players are unearthed.

Holland may not have beaten Turkey in the most convincing manner, but whereas England defeated the team ranked 141st in the FIFA rankings (they have also lost 4-0 to Venezuela this year), Holland beat the team ranked 35th 2-0 with a new midfield.

Louis Van Gaal, the newly installed Holland manger, has recognised the pedestrian midfield of Nigel De Jong and Mark Van Bommel as a weakness and he acted quickly to replace them with possible long term replacements.

There are two years left before the World Cup, games against the likes of Moldova should be used to blood England's future internationals. Lampard and Gerrard will be 36 and 34 respectively at the next World Cup. It makes no sense to use players for qualifying that will, most likely, not be relied upon at that tournament.

Mario Balotelli - In defence of an idiot

On Sunday, an atrocity against football was committed.

Sometime in the afternoon heat of Los Angeles, a footballer dared to showboat. This deplorable act had dire, hilarious and, for some reason, very angry consequences.

Fortunately, for those who like to watch professional sports people make tools of themselves, Mario Balotelli's chucklesome gaff was captured on television for posterity.

As well as serving as the latest chapter in the Italian's comicbook account of his City career, this bungled piece of buffoonery was the trigger for all kinds of scorn to be poured upon the striker.

Since joining Manchester City, Mario Balotelli has had a, erm, mixed time of things. In his 12 months in the North-West, he has thrown darts at a youth teamer (for a laugh), single-handedly stopped a child from being bullied, wrestled with a plastic bib and given away thousands of pounds to a tramp.

Compared to those escapades, fluffing a back-hell is probably the least controversial thing he's done. Well, you'd think so. Apparently not.

Moments after the miss, Roberto Mancini substituted the striker and the two shared a heated exchange of words. The anger didn't stay between these two, either, Twitter was soon abuzz with words like 'disrespectful', 'unprofessional' and 'disgrace'.

'Idiot' would have sufficed.

Had he scored, or maybe even if it wasn't one of football's biggest nut-jobs, there's probable doubt that these words would have been reeled off. Certainly, had it gone in, the superlatives may well have been in free-flow.

Instead, though, he missed, looked a fool, everybody laughed and the clip will be on something like 'Danny Dyer's Pwoppa Nawtie Footie Fowl Aaps' and that's how it should have stayed.

The fuss would've been understandable had it been in a competitive game, like Robbie Keane's abomination of a fancy flick ( go to 3.20), in the Champions League, Djimi Traore's effort of a Zidane drag-back or David Dunn's derby day hilarities.

Instead, it was in a friendly. A friendly. You know, those unimportant games which are usually devoid of entertainment? Well Balotelli tried a trick to entertain. Yes, he messed it up, but it was entertaining.

If outlandish attempts at pointless tricks are that bad and are a blight on the game, maybe we should start a campaign, Father Ted style?

DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING! And this. And this. And especially this.

Imagine football without this type of disrespectful play. A joyous game full of Kevin Davieses, Dirk Kuyts, Darren Fletchers and Gareth Barrys.

Dedicated. Committed. Functional. Boring.

Strip-tease

The close season is a dull time for a football fan. Saturdays drift by aimlessly, and it's only around now, with the minor consolation of pre-season friendlies getting underway, that there's any relief from an otherwise dreadful summer of drizzle, golf and the Women's World Cup.

The only thing that's kept me going is the steady stream of new kits being revealed, something I've kept on top of thanks to Football-Shirts.co.uk. Now, the issue of new home, away, 3rd, and sometimes even 4th (not to mention European home and away) kits being replaced every season is a rant in itself, and one I won't get into for now.

Because I wanted to focus on the kits themselves. If you sift through the standard, bland and oft-recycled Nike and Adidas templates, and try to kid yourself that Umbro's featureless 'Tailored' range isn't just them running out of ideas rather than the PR excuse of wanting to celebrate [insert team name here]'s proud heritage, there's actually some cracking designs knocking around.



Wycombe's offering, in particular, is a belter, as Kappa show that you can actually do something interesting with a fairly restricting template of two-tone blue quarters, with their wobbly (and, let's be honest, comedy breasts lookalike) chest panels giving the shirt an nice little feature. That said, it does suffer from the age-old Kappa issues of a sponsor that's far too high, and those damn shoulder logos.

But where's the fun in looking at nice shirts? Like a club just before closing time, there's some absolute munters hanging around trying desperately to grab somebody's attention. And what better place to start than at the top of club football?



Grim. I've seen someone wearing this shirt around town (Preston must have a fledgling Catalan population) and it looks just as bad in real life. I can appreciate that Nike want to do something interesting and different with one of its biggest clients, but this? Really? When have asymmetrical stripes EVER looked good? In fact, I'm reminded of this:



Still, it could be worse. You could be a Gillingham fan, stuck with wearing this. At least it's only a third shirt, so hopefully for Gills' sake they won't have to look at it too often. And just in case you were wondering, the shorts are pink, too.

But before I go, spare a thought for goalkeepers. You'd think they'd be fairly safe from the atrocities afflicting their outfield team-mates, after all, shouldn't they just be stuck in a plain green shirt and left to it? Not if you're the England goalkeeper!



This is, quite possibly, the worst kit of any sort I've seen since, well, England's away goalkeeper kit from Euro 96. What, you don't remember? Well let me refresh your memory...



It looks like a parrot was sick on a rainbow. I remember laughing about this kit when I was 8 in the playground. It was even worse when it was what Seaman was wearing in that heart-wrenching shooting against the Germans. And now that memory has made me cry, I think it's an appropriate time to go.

But hang on. How can I possibly write a blog about bad football shirts, and even go so far as to mention goalkeepers, without this fella getting in on the action. Jorge Campos, we at Half Time Oranges salute you!

A HtO guide to: Being a transfer news guru

We all know summer is traditionally transfer silly season. It seems tradition that papers spread and, on occasions, dream up the latest, almost instantly tedious, transfer saga. But these shenanigans are no-longer restricted to the news room and journalists.

You just have to open up Twitter to see plethora of possibly, genuinely, deluded bores churning out a deluge of transfer 'news' at a rate of knots.

It's so easy, anyone can play!

Yes! You, too, can make up a vast platter of transfer bollocks news to serve up. It's easy.

Here's Half Time Oranges' handy 10 step guide to being a Transfer Watcher And Teller:

1. Pick a club, any club.
2. Pick a player said club has been linked with at any time over the past 18 months or a young 'unknown' who turns out to be amazing in the latest Football Manager game.
3. Pick a number, normally between seven and 30.
4. Add a '£' before the number and a 'm' after it.
5. Say a 'source' has told you that the club has bid said amount for said player (remember, you can't name sources - which is just as well, considering yours is about as real as Lolo Ferrari's ghost's tits).
6. Say you're pretty sure it's going to happen but can't confirm it until the club do (you know, because you don't want to get sued or anything).
7. Avoid awkward questions by saying your gran's dead and that you have to go offline for a bit.
8. Questions persisting? 'Kill off' your parents/siblings/pets. Hey, that's what they're there for!
9. Dispatch of as many family members as necessary until no one dares question your credibility for fear of upsetting a soul so brave that, despite their entire family being wiped from the earth inside a week, can still soldier on bravely to report that they reckon Kaka will be at Chelsea next season.
10. Transfer happen? Yes? Brag smugly to your doubters. No? Say it fell through at the last minute. Ideally by a last minute price-hike.

And there you have it. Blag, entertain and annoy like a true pro.

Pre-season - the unavoidable no-man's land

The football season has ended and, with no World Cup or European Championship, a football-free summer is ahead. A full summer without football. For some, non-fans, this is pure bliss. For others, it is a short-cut to insanity.

At first it seems a nice, relaxing little break. The play-offs wean you off the spherical goodness nice and slowly, then the next couple of weekends are quite pleasant. There's no biting of nails; no constantly refreshing web pages or Twitter feeds. There's no pacing up and down your front room, wearing a hole in your carpet. In short, there's no worrying. It's nice.

But then you worry that you're not worrying. Why aren't we worrying? It feels strange, almost alien, not to be wrenching your gut nearly every afternoon or evening over some game of football or other. Your brain, so used to working out, updating and hypothesising over ever-changing implications and permutations of results and formations, starts to feel under-used.

Yes, there's  the Under-21 European Championship, to stop us all from going totally cold turkey before the pre-season friendlies kick in, but it isn't the same.

Saturdays become desolate places without the company of Jeff and company or, at the worst, Gabby Logan and Garth Crooks (well, maybe being without Crooks is preferable, but you get the point).

While we mark off the days to the first friendly, we do our best to tide ourselves over. There's FIFA, Pro Evolution and Football Manager to give us our fix. Hell, some of us even go out and play football. Actually play it. With a proper ball. On grass and everything.

However, until 3pm on a Saturday in August and our over-optimism sets us up for a gauntlet of worry and the inevitable yet crushing disappointment, we will be longing for the real thing. The proper football. The best distraction from the reality that there is other stuff - actually properly important and often frightening stuff - happening in the world.

Put simply, a world without football is boring and scary. Roll on August.

Mourinho's tactics just not cricket... but were they football?

Last night's instalment of this season's 'El Clasico' series proved two things: 1) Lionel Messi is some sort of footballing demi-god and 2) Jose Mourinho really doesn't like to lose.

Given that most of us already knew these two things, the only other thing the first leg of this Champions League semi-final presented us with was as clear an example of 'football v anti-football' as you could wish to see (assuming you are masochistic enough to wish for such a thing).

Yes, Messi's beautiful goal aside, last night's game will be remembered, chiefly, for the dearth of sportsmanship, the wealth of play-acting, tantrums, José Mourinho's conspiracy theories and Real's intent on stifling Barca's creativity.

Putting aside the gamesmanship and blatant cheating from both sides, Real's actual footballing tactics were attacked for spoiling the game.

To those watching for entertainment, they most certainly did, but when you are a manager (one who isn't Arsene Wenger, anyway), aesthetics are second to results. Especially if that result leads to a European Cup final.

Barcelona are held up as the epitome of 'the beautiful game'. Their adventurous, quick, fluid and often devastating style of play is the envy of most sides in the world and stopping them proves to be nigh on impossible.

One way to hope to do it is by packing the middle of the park and trying to restrict the time the likes of Xavi and Iniesta have on the ball whilst also trying to contain the likes of Messi and Villa.

This usually results in a 'parking the bus' approach and derision from those who believe that this isn't playing football - labeling it as 'anti-football'. But is it?

As HtO's very own Phil McLaggan alluded to in an earlier blog, Mourinho's selection of three defensive midfielders in the previous two encounters with the Catalans came under heavy scrutiny. This, however, was largely justified with one draw and a victory (albeit in extra-time).

Last night was no different, with midfield sitters Pepe, Lassana Diarra and Xabi Alonso all deployed together. Predictably, Los Blancos looked to stop Barcelona by any means possible with Pepe and Sergio Ramos looking to impose themselves on Barcelona's creative hub of Xavi and Messi, respectively.

Mourinho's men were obviously briefed beforehand to do everything they could to disrupt Barca's flow. This made for an ugly, disjointed, game but, crucially, a game where Real were managing to prevent Barcelona from opening them up. That was until Pepe's dubious red card gave Barcelona the bit of extra space and time they needed to pick through the Madrid back-line.

For a man whose job security relies on results (possibly more-so in the CL for Madrid than any other competition, especially against their bitter rivals), the point of competitive football is to beat the opposition, not to appease the neutral's desire for entertainment.

So why, in such a big game, would Mourinho choose to play an open, attacking game - and risk another 5-0 mauling - when he knows another set of tactics would see him best placed to snatch a win? Put simply: he wouldn't.

There are many ways to win a game; be it Helenio Herrera's Catenaccio system, Johan Cruyff's 'Total Football' ideology or Kevin Keegan's kamikaze style but, at the end of the day - attractive or ugly; attacking or defensive - it's all football.

So what about The Special One's latest effort? Well, to paraphrase a Star Trek character: 'It's football, Jim, but not as we like it'.

Is Football in the Wrong Dimension?

Unless you have spent the last few years like the proverbial ostrich, with your head in the sand, you will no doubt have heard the great song and dance surrounding 3D TV.

As a concept, 3D has merits. The experience of seeing a blockbuster film at an Imax screen is a gripping thrill-ride and the third dimension certainly enhances the atmosphere. But what about live sport in the third dimension?

Naturally, Sky have made a huge fuss about their televised football being 3D, including what looks like their own version of the Blues Brothers (until they went all rock 'n' roll and unleashed abuse on a female official). They pushed the 3D coverage fervently in a big advertising campaign, encouraging viewers to find their nearest 3D pub.

Just imagine the spectacle: 200 blokes down the local, all wearing silly blue and red glasses, whilst watching the big game (spare a thought for those poor souls who have to wear glasses anyway). This scenario, which would resemble an Edgar Davids fan convention, already sounds ridiculous enough, but imagine seeing images like this and this in three dimensions. They are scary enough in 2D to give a child nightmares without making them pop out of the screen and towards your face, snarling.

As a sceptic, I can't help but see this 3D lark as anything more than a fad that will eventually pass. Besides, 3D football is nothing new; it has been around since the game was first invented. Of course, I am referring to going to watch a game live. It doesn't get any more 3D than cheering your team on from the stands. Even better, you don't have to watch the game in red and blue shades (impossible for Norwich vs Plymouth games) and the atmosphere is better than the greatest surround sound system could convey.

2D football has served us perfectly well since it was first broadcast, so let's keep it that way. If you insist on watching your football in 3D, go and support your team in person -  and put those silly glasses in the bin.

Geordies Clowning Around

The ongoing soap opera that is Newcastle United Football Club rolls on, as the latest reports suggest that Irishman Charlie Chawke is interested in buying the much-troubled club.

This must be galling for Toon fans. Firstly, Mr Chawke is a former shareholder at big rivals Sunderland. That might be seen as being bad enough for some people, given the embarassing taunts and jokes the Magpies have had to endure from their neighbours in recent months.

But Newcastle don't make headlines by half. Those football fans in their 20s might remember an animated children's TV programme about a friendly clown called Charlie Chalk, whose best friend was an elephant called Arnold. The show was popular in the 1990s and included a spin-off franchise of kids' play areas in pubs across the country.

Some fans have already sniggered at the fact, as Charlie Chalk's Wikipedia entry has already been defaced by one sharp-witted user. After all their recent troubles, the last thing the Toon need is another clown in charge of proceedings. It only provides yet another chance for fans around the UK to have a cruel poke at the struggling Tynesiders, but you have to admit, one that cannot be ignored easily.

For legal reasons, we must point out that Irishman Charlie Chawke is NOT an animated clown who lives on an island called Merrytwit (we kid you not) with his best friends Arnold the Elephant and Captain Mildred!

Still, if the takeover doesn't work out, perhaps the Biker Mice from Mars might fancy a dabble in club ownership.

Net of Injustice

They say you have to be mad to be a goalkeeper, and usually they're spot on. Some of the past decade's most eccentric players have been between the sticks.

We will always remember Mexico stalwart Jorge Campos's violently lucid self-designed attire, or Fabien Barthez's comical arm-raising gesture towards Paolo Di Canio in the FA Cup. Similarly, we were all open-mouthed when Colombian Rene Higuita performed his now-legendary scorpion kick.

But when you look past the wacky antics of the most famous shot-stoppers though, you will find brilliant reflexes, acrobatic dives and intelligent distribution. From Kahn to Cech and Peruzzi to Seaman, some of the most consistently brilliant performers have come from goalkeepers.

Therefore it is naturally perplexing how little recognition 'keepers get in major football awards. In the 53-year history of the Ballon d'Or, or European Footballer of the Year, only once has a goalkeeper bagged the prize. Aside from the legendary Lev Yashin in 1963, no goalkeeper has even made it into the top three nominations. Similarly, the various World Player of the Year awards have never been won by a man in gloves.

To the knowledgable football fan, this should seem alarming. If the likes of Dino Zoff, Gordon Banks and Peter Schmeichel are regarded as three of the best players of their generation, how strange it is then that not one of them came close to the gong.

It seems that in football, goals are everything. Ask ten people on the street who they think is the best player in the world today and chances are not one will give you a Buffon or a Casillas or a Cech.

The Spanish captain in particular is cruelly overlooked on awards nights. At 28, his CV is more complete than most pushing 40. He is still the youngest captain of Real Madrid, became a double Champions League winner before his 21st birthday and already has 96 caps for his country.

Perhaps it is time for FIFA or UEFA to devise new criteria for these awards, finding a balance between goals and clean sheets. After all, it is likely that outfield players would feel aggrieved if the glove was on the other hand!