The ongoing soap opera that is Newcastle United Football Club rolls on, as the latest reports suggest that Irishman Charlie Chawke is interested in buying the much-troubled club.
This must be galling for Toon fans. Firstly, Mr Chawke is a former shareholder at big rivals Sunderland. That might be seen as being bad enough for some people, given the embarassing taunts and jokes the Magpies have had to endure from their neighbours in recent months.
But Newcastle don't make headlines by half. Those football fans in their 20s might remember an animated children's TV programme about a friendly clown called Charlie Chalk, whose best friend was an elephant called Arnold. The show was popular in the 1990s and included a spin-off franchise of kids' play areas in pubs across the country.
Some fans have already sniggered at the fact, as Charlie Chalk's Wikipedia entry has already been defaced by one sharp-witted user. After all their recent troubles, the last thing the Toon need is another clown in charge of proceedings. It only provides yet another chance for fans around the UK to have a cruel poke at the struggling Tynesiders, but you have to admit, one that cannot be ignored easily.
For legal reasons, we must point out that Irishman Charlie Chawke is NOT an animated clown who lives on an island called Merrytwit (we kid you not) with his best friends Arnold the Elephant and Captain Mildred!
Still, if the takeover doesn't work out, perhaps the Biker Mice from Mars might fancy a dabble in club ownership.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Hughes Knows What You Did This Summer, Micah!
So, Micah Richards has swine flu.
Thankfully he's on his way to a full recovery but the discovery of him contracting the illness must have been a huge worry to his family, friends and colleagues at Manchester City as well as his gaffer, Mark Hughes.
Almost as worrying for Hughes, however, will be the England right-back's account of his illness.
"At first I thought it was a really bad chest infection, or maybe alcohol poisoning," he told The Sun.
Alcohol poisoning?
ALCOHOL POISONING?!?!
How much have you been drinking, Micah?!
Just how wasted does someone have to get in order to consider alcohol poisoning a feasible explanation for chest pains?
"I felt so weak that I couldn't move or eat. My friends had to bring me drinks in bed," he continued.
Somehow, I don't think he has learned from his alcohol poisoning worries. Although, to be fair, I'd be more worried about returning to training to face Sparky - who has, no doubt, figured out just how Micah has been keeping in shape this summer!
Ooops!
Thankfully he's on his way to a full recovery but the discovery of him contracting the illness must have been a huge worry to his family, friends and colleagues at Manchester City as well as his gaffer, Mark Hughes.
Almost as worrying for Hughes, however, will be the England right-back's account of his illness.
"At first I thought it was a really bad chest infection, or maybe alcohol poisoning," he told The Sun.
Alcohol poisoning?
ALCOHOL POISONING?!?!
How much have you been drinking, Micah?!
Just how wasted does someone have to get in order to consider alcohol poisoning a feasible explanation for chest pains?
"I felt so weak that I couldn't move or eat. My friends had to bring me drinks in bed," he continued.
Somehow, I don't think he has learned from his alcohol poisoning worries. Although, to be fair, I'd be more worried about returning to training to face Sparky - who has, no doubt, figured out just how Micah has been keeping in shape this summer!
Ooops!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Net of Injustice
They say you have to be mad to be a goalkeeper, and usually they're spot on. Some of the past decade's most eccentric players have been between the sticks.
We will always remember Mexico stalwart Jorge Campos's violently lucid self-designed attire, or Fabien Barthez's comical arm-raising gesture towards Paolo Di Canio in the FA Cup. Similarly, we were all open-mouthed when Colombian Rene Higuita performed his now-legendary scorpion kick.
But when you look past the wacky antics of the most famous shot-stoppers though, you will find brilliant reflexes, acrobatic dives and intelligent distribution. From Kahn to Cech and Peruzzi to Seaman, some of the most consistently brilliant performers have come from goalkeepers.
Therefore it is naturally perplexing how little recognition 'keepers get in major football awards. In the 53-year history of the Ballon d'Or, or European Footballer of the Year, only once has a goalkeeper bagged the prize. Aside from the legendary Lev Yashin in 1963, no goalkeeper has even made it into the top three nominations. Similarly, the various World Player of the Year awards have never been won by a man in gloves.
To the knowledgable football fan, this should seem alarming. If the likes of Dino Zoff, Gordon Banks and Peter Schmeichel are regarded as three of the best players of their generation, how strange it is then that not one of them came close to the gong.
It seems that in football, goals are everything. Ask ten people on the street who they think is the best player in the world today and chances are not one will give you a Buffon or a Casillas or a Cech.
The Spanish captain in particular is cruelly overlooked on awards nights. At 28, his CV is more complete than most pushing 40. He is still the youngest captain of Real Madrid, became a double Champions League winner before his 21st birthday and already has 96 caps for his country.
Perhaps it is time for FIFA or UEFA to devise new criteria for these awards, finding a balance between goals and clean sheets. After all, it is likely that outfield players would feel aggrieved if the glove was on the other hand!
We will always remember Mexico stalwart Jorge Campos's violently lucid self-designed attire, or Fabien Barthez's comical arm-raising gesture towards Paolo Di Canio in the FA Cup. Similarly, we were all open-mouthed when Colombian Rene Higuita performed his now-legendary scorpion kick.
But when you look past the wacky antics of the most famous shot-stoppers though, you will find brilliant reflexes, acrobatic dives and intelligent distribution. From Kahn to Cech and Peruzzi to Seaman, some of the most consistently brilliant performers have come from goalkeepers.
Therefore it is naturally perplexing how little recognition 'keepers get in major football awards. In the 53-year history of the Ballon d'Or, or European Footballer of the Year, only once has a goalkeeper bagged the prize. Aside from the legendary Lev Yashin in 1963, no goalkeeper has even made it into the top three nominations. Similarly, the various World Player of the Year awards have never been won by a man in gloves.
To the knowledgable football fan, this should seem alarming. If the likes of Dino Zoff, Gordon Banks and Peter Schmeichel are regarded as three of the best players of their generation, how strange it is then that not one of them came close to the gong.
It seems that in football, goals are everything. Ask ten people on the street who they think is the best player in the world today and chances are not one will give you a Buffon or a Casillas or a Cech.
The Spanish captain in particular is cruelly overlooked on awards nights. At 28, his CV is more complete than most pushing 40. He is still the youngest captain of Real Madrid, became a double Champions League winner before his 21st birthday and already has 96 caps for his country.
Perhaps it is time for FIFA or UEFA to devise new criteria for these awards, finding a balance between goals and clean sheets. After all, it is likely that outfield players would feel aggrieved if the glove was on the other hand!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Pellegrini to 'do a Keegan'
No, we don't mean that he will walk away only a few months into the season when things aren't going his way (let's face it - he's at Real Madrid - he'll be sacked long before then) nor that he will get a perm or fall off a bike racing other, less notable, sports stars.
What we actually mean is that he's going to use the same approach to tactics as, ex-Liverpool star and current former-Geordie Messiah, Kevin Keegan. Or rather he'll be forced to.
The 'Galacticos Project - Part Dos' has so far seen the big-money arrival of attackers Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo with Karim Benzema almost certain to follow, at a total cost nearing £170 million.
These new signings will join up with the likes of (deep breath): Wesley Sneijder, Rafael van der Vaart, Klass-Jan Huntelaar, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Arjen Robben, Gonzalo Higuain and, of course - Mr Real Madrid himself - Raul.
In comparison the sole defensive signing has been Raul Albiol for the comparativley measly sum of £8 million. While Kaka & co join up with an embarrasment of riches in attack, poor Raul will join up with an aging Salgado, injury-plagued Metzelder and pea-headed Pepe.
With Heinze linked with a move away and Fabio Cannavarro already gone, only right-back Sergio Ramos looks to have the class to be worthy of a place in a team alongside the likes of the aforementioned attackers. In fact, the only defender to be linked with Real is also a right-back; Liverpool's Alvaro Arbeloa.
As well as splashing the cash up-front, Real have also been linked with a big-money move for Liverpool duo Javier Macherano and, more likley, Xabi Alonso to strengthen an already packed midfield.
Florentino Perez is unlikley to be pleased at seeing, potentially, £200 million be spent on players only for half of them to be sat on the bench. Likewise, Real fans will not be best pleased if Raul goes missing from the line up too often.
This means Pellegrini will have the thankless task of fitting all the stars in the team, playing attractive football (which shouln't be too hard with players like Kaka and Ronaldo) and winning trophies, probabably all of them, if he wants to see out his contract.
So don't be suprised if Real turn up to the first game in La Liga looking like they're facing the wrong way at kick-off; they'll just be playing 2-4-4.
What we actually mean is that he's going to use the same approach to tactics as, ex-Liverpool star and current former-Geordie Messiah, Kevin Keegan. Or rather he'll be forced to.
The 'Galacticos Project - Part Dos' has so far seen the big-money arrival of attackers Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo with Karim Benzema almost certain to follow, at a total cost nearing £170 million.
These new signings will join up with the likes of (deep breath): Wesley Sneijder, Rafael van der Vaart, Klass-Jan Huntelaar, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Arjen Robben, Gonzalo Higuain and, of course - Mr Real Madrid himself - Raul.
In comparison the sole defensive signing has been Raul Albiol for the comparativley measly sum of £8 million. While Kaka & co join up with an embarrasment of riches in attack, poor Raul will join up with an aging Salgado, injury-plagued Metzelder and pea-headed Pepe.
With Heinze linked with a move away and Fabio Cannavarro already gone, only right-back Sergio Ramos looks to have the class to be worthy of a place in a team alongside the likes of the aforementioned attackers. In fact, the only defender to be linked with Real is also a right-back; Liverpool's Alvaro Arbeloa.
As well as splashing the cash up-front, Real have also been linked with a big-money move for Liverpool duo Javier Macherano and, more likley, Xabi Alonso to strengthen an already packed midfield.
Florentino Perez is unlikley to be pleased at seeing, potentially, £200 million be spent on players only for half of them to be sat on the bench. Likewise, Real fans will not be best pleased if Raul goes missing from the line up too often.
This means Pellegrini will have the thankless task of fitting all the stars in the team, playing attractive football (which shouln't be too hard with players like Kaka and Ronaldo) and winning trophies, probabably all of them, if he wants to see out his contract.
So don't be suprised if Real turn up to the first game in La Liga looking like they're facing the wrong way at kick-off; they'll just be playing 2-4-4.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Kick Off
Welcome to the football blog that will lunge two-footed, studs up, into all the football news Kevin Davies can swing an elbow at.
Looking at stories from all levels and across the globe; it will cover more ground than Dirk Kuyt after a binge on blue Smarties and Red Bull and pull fewer punches than Duncan Ferguson, in an approach so direct that even Big Sam Allardyce would consider it ugly.
So read on, join in and feel free to comment.
Welcome to Half Time Oranges!
Looking at stories from all levels and across the globe; it will cover more ground than Dirk Kuyt after a binge on blue Smarties and Red Bull and pull fewer punches than Duncan Ferguson, in an approach so direct that even Big Sam Allardyce would consider it ugly.
So read on, join in and feel free to comment.
Welcome to Half Time Oranges!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)