Showing posts with label Social Networking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Networking. Show all posts

Monday, June 6, 2011

A HtO guide to: Being a transfer news guru

We all know summer is traditionally transfer silly season. It seems tradition that papers spread and, on occasions, dream up the latest, almost instantly tedious, transfer saga. But these shenanigans are no-longer restricted to the news room and journalists.

You just have to open up Twitter to see plethora of possibly, genuinely, deluded bores churning out a deluge of transfer 'news' at a rate of knots.

It's so easy, anyone can play!

Yes! You, too, can make up a vast platter of transfer bollocks news to serve up. It's easy.

Here's Half Time Oranges' handy 10 step guide to being a Transfer Watcher And Teller:

  1. Pick a club, any club.
  2. Pick a player said club has been linked with at any time over the past 18 months or a young 'unknown' who turns out to be amazing in the latest Football Manager game.
  3. Pick a number, normally between seven and 30.
  4. Add a '£' before the number and a 'm' after it.
  5. Say a 'source' has told you that the club has bid said amount for said player (remember, you can't name sources - which is just as well, considering yours is about as real as Lolo Ferrari's ghost's tits).
  6. Say you're pretty sure it's going to happen but can't confirm it until the club do (you know, because you don't want to get sued or anything).
  7. Avoid awkward questions by saying your gran's dead and that you have to go offline for a bit.
  8. Questions persisting? 'Kill off' your parents/siblings/pets. Hey, that's what they're there for!
  9. Dispatch of as many family members as necessary until no one dares question your credibility for fear of upsetting a soul so brave that, despite their entire family being wiped from the earth inside a week, can still soldier on bravely to report that they reckon Kaka will be at Chelsea next season.
  10. Transfer happen? Yes? Brag smugly to your doubters. No? Say it fell through at the last minute. Ideally by a last minute price-hike.
And there you have it. Blag, entertain and annoy like a true pro.


Friday, April 15, 2011

The Twits

One of the most interesting effects of social media's increasing popularity is the way it has landed several well-known sportsmen in hot water.

Just this week, West Ham striker Carlton Cole was charged by the FA for comments he made on Twitter during England's recent friendly against Ghana. Apparently, his tongue-in-cheek immigration remark about the Ghana fans was "racist" and ill-advised.



The "offending comment read as follows: "Immigration has surrounded the Wembley premises! I knew it was a trap! Hahahaha." He later added, "The only way to get out safely is to wear an England jersey and paint your face w/ the St George's flag."

Are we to believe that these comments are in any way racist? Just take a look at Carlton. In case you didn't know, he is himself of African ancestry, with a Nigerian father and a mother from Sierra Leone. Hardly someone, then, that would set out to racially discriminate against the supporters of an African team. Even if a white player had posted the same comments, I would hardly be pulling out the race card and waving it at him.

Carlton himself was clearly shocked by the backlash he received for what was so clearly a harmless joke. He later tweeted, "Why are there so many sensitive people out there! It was a joke & its not even racist."

Even his club manager Avram Grant has defended him, claiming the FA should have "more important things to concentrate on." As an Israeli of Jewish heritage, Grant would know more than most about the horrors of genuine racial discrimination. That he believes Cole has done nothing wrong should be enough to suggest that the reaction has been ridiculous.

I quite agree with Carlton. The saddest thing about the whole incident is that there are people out there who were genuinely offended and felt racially abused. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, I hardly think such a reaction is either logical or remotely informed.

Sadly, our beautiful game is increasingly being swallowed up by the illogical and politically-correct idiots that insult our intelligence. Common sense has long been discarded. I would argue that Wayne Rooney's foul-mouthed rant at West Ham a fortnight ago was far more offensive than any of Cole's tweets.

When most people these days see footballers as shallow, materialistic adulterers, it is such a shame to slam one of our brightest talents just for showing a sense of humour and a bit of light-heartedness.

It isn't the first time this season that Twitter has landed a player in trouble, however. In January, Liverpool's Ryan Babel was punished for posting a mocked-up photo of referee Howard Webb in a Manchester United shirt following the Reds' FA Cup defeat to their great rivals. There again, Babel was clearly just making a light-hearted jape, born out of his frustration at Liverpool's cup exit. 

Of course, the FA were never going to see it that way and he duly had his knuckles rapped. There are further examples in football and other sports where players have vented their rage at officals, managers and others for various reasons. While directly criticising someone is clearly unwise, should we really be censoring what players can and cannot say?

This type of thought-policing seems to serve only as a means of curtailing free speech. Unless a player had posted comments that were clearly defamatory in some way, then it is surely only fair to allow them to tweet without fear of repercussions. After all, a quick look at the tweets of "normal" people would reveal far, far more offensive content.